CAR CAR C-A-R

I grew up in a neighborhood with a bunch of other kids. When we were playing in the road and a car came my friend Morgan, my age, would shout-sing "Car, Car! C-A-R!" She tried it once with truck and it didn't have the same sing-songiness. I can't type the word "car" without thinking of that little song. Somehow, it became a part of me.


This past week I took (and passed!) my driving test, bought a car, and figured out insurance. Jeffrey helped me inspect the cars (I dont know what to look for, so far as potential problems go) but other than that, I did it all on my own. I'm really proud of myself. Yes of course, because I got my license, because I saved up and bought my first car and paid in full. Yes, because I figured out all the insurance stuff on my own.

But also because of the little things that most people wouldn't think to ask me about, or wouldn't think are big deals. I'm proud of myself because for the first time ever, I feel like I'm totally in control of my anxiety disorder. Things that are triggers for my horrible attacks? Talking to strangers, being in the spotlight, talking on the phone. All three things which I have done in the past week. Not only was I able to handle all of these things without having an attack, but I was able to handle all of them RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

I'm feeling quite proud of myself. Like I've finally done something right. Also, this means school is possible. I always feared, in the back of my mind, that I wouldn't be able to get to my classes because I wouldn't get a car/my license, and Jeffrey wouldn't be able to drive me. Those fears are now at ease, and I have one week before classes start. I think things will settle down a bit then.

It's Thursday the 24th. I have been busy going crazy since about the 11th. No break. No stopping. Just busy busy busy.

It's amazing that my health hasn't broken down or anything.....

ANYWAYS!

I haven't been busy for no reason. We found an apartment (a clean one, with a sane landlord) and moved into it (but I'm still not totally unpacked, even though we got the keys on the 4th!). I had my mid-year exams. My father had knee surgery (so far, everything seems to be going well with it) My boss is on a firing spree (but no, thankfully, I haven't been fired. My mother is back in touch with me, and doing well. My sister has been thrown or has thrown herself (I'm currently unclear on what happened) for a loop.

As everything was happening (goodness, there were so many "everythings") I kept thinking "Damn, I wish I was at my computer. This would make a great blog-post!" but it never happened.

I keep thinking that I should start a twitter account or a new blog or something called "Adventures at Wendy's" because some of the situations that happen at work are piss-your-pants funny, but I haven't even had the time to do that.

I haven't had the time to write.

I've been ridiculously busy.

I actually had something to say in this post, but now I've forgotten what it was. Ah well. I'm going to post this anyways, since I've been DYING to post.

Um, updates about whatever it was I wanted to saying coming soon, probably.

Also, a full blog about the apartment coming soon, once it's finished and I take pictures.

Busy Weekend

It's been a busy busy busy weekend. I did that one update on my blog, and that took up almost all my free time this entire weekend.

Saturday morning I got a sunburn! No, actually saturday morning was my wonderful fiance Jeffrey's graduation. I'm super proud of him. He was recognized separately from the rest of the students graduating in his major, because he was named Deans Scholar, among other honors. Meanwhile, my sunscreen apparently was faulty. Brand new that morning, applied twice in 6 hours, and yet I still got a KILLER sunburn. It still hurts terribly.

My mother and one of my sisters came down for his graduation and stayed around Sunday. I'm not sure my mom had a good time. She seemed to be enjoying herself but every now and then she'd get really quiet and look annoyed. I wonder if its because we were always in a big crowd, and she and I got no one-on-one time. I guess that's my fault, for suggesting she stay at Jeffrey's grandma's house. It was nice though. I had a great weekend with my sister and mom, and mothers day was fun.

Today though, today was a scary day for me. I am (was?) taking four classes. Three of my final exams were scheduled for today. History, which I was not worried about. English, which I was mostly not worrysome, but my teacher is a grammar-lover, and she has all sorts of fancy grammar terms which I never knew. I knew how to use proper grammar, and I knew what was wrong and why, but I never knew things had fancy names. I was afraid I'd forget some of those. Then I had Physics, which SCARED THT CRAP OUT OF ME! I was sure I was going to fail it. I didn't know electricity. I barely knew waves. Lenses? Mirrors? GAH!  On top of all I had no sleep for two days (the sunburn is all over my back and shoulders. I am one of those toss-in-your-sleep types, and each time I'd try to roll I'd wake myself up in pain. Not fun!) I had no time to study over the weekend, because of all the events and familyness. I was sure I was going to fail everything.

But it turns out, the history test was as easy as I predicted. The English test was better than I thought (mostly she asked us about how the rules worked, and not what they were called. yay!) and the physics test. Oh boy. It was crazy. And by crazy, I mean EASY! It was the easiest test I had taken in that class all semester. I was so relieved.

After doing so well on my exams, while being tired and in sunburn pain, I feel like I can do anything! So what am I going to do now? Now I have made an official statement to write 500-1000 words of The Circle before bedtime. And not just any words, but good words. Ones that make sense. I feel like I can do anything!