Snow, and day two of my big vacation.

I saw my mom today.

What?! I know. It’s been a while since I updated. I’ve been sort of floating along on my own. Letting things sit on my mind. It’s been weird. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I like to write blog posts, when I have something to say. A plan, an oppinion. Right now, I feel sort of lost. Floaty. I’m just plodding along without direction.

My mom called me about a week or two ago. I’m happy to hear from her. I’ve missed her. But I’m still angry. She understands that, I guess. We talked about it. We talked about a lot, today. I went to the center she was in. She’s doing well. She says its hard, but I reminded her that everything worth doing requires a lot of effort. I encouraged her. She said she’d stay in her program as long as she thinks she needs it, and she can afford to pay the rent in the house, and for the program. I told her that if money became an issue, and she had to choose between the house and the program, that she should choose the program. Do what she needs to do to get better. To take care of herself, of us as a family. What good is a home that you love, if it’s filled with miserable people?

I’m trying to encourage her, without putting my own faith in her. I can’t keep letting my heart get broken. I can’t do it anymore. But it was alright. It was nice to see her. I’m feeling strange.

Yesterday I saw my sisters. Manda’s been in a hospital for the past three weeks for an eating disorder. It sort of breaks my heart, but the truth is, I saw it coming. It doesn’t surprise me. Even over the summer I had back-of-my-mind concerns. I worry, but I’m relieved that she’s getting help. She got out on a day pass yesterday for christmas, so we spent the day at her foster family’s home. Me, Jeffrey, my dad, my sisters, and a TON of other people that are awesome. It was awesome.

There’s a blizzard going on outside the house right now. I’m afraid that ti’s going to ruin my trip. I want to see my sisters again, but if we’re snowed in, I cant. I want to see my aunt (oh jeeze, I need a whole post about that) but if we’re snowed in, I cant. I want to see at least one of my friends, but if we’re snowed in.... you get the picture. It’s just a hassle. I LOVE LOVE LOVE snow, but the timing on it is so awful. I’m not pleased.

I feel strange tonight. Really emotional, but sort of disconnected. I dunno. I just don’t know.