Manners, Etiquette and All Things Proper

When I started this blog, it was because I needed a place where I could vent, and ask for help, without having to force my problems on someone else. A place where I wasn't directly addressing one individual and putting them on the spot. I did that because I felt like directly asking was impolite, invasive, and demanding.

And then just now I realized that I have started 4 separate posts and not posted because I didn't think it was acceptable to post more than one blog a day. I thought that made me appear desperate, and boring, and that no one would read if I did that. This is not the first time I've avoided putting up posts because I don't want to be invasive. I must be crazy. This place is my release. A personal blog. Personal meaning that I shouldn't care what's right. I should just say what I need to say. It's not a professional blog, and doesn't have to follow any rules.

One attempted-post was about how much I miss my dad. I never really talked much about him. Being far away from him has put a bit of distance between us and I dont like it. He doesn't like to talk on the phone, he doesn't like sending long emails. I don't think he's gotten a letter in years and if he got one from me he'd probably think I've lost it. So I don't talk to him much. And that really, really sucks. He's been the one who told me I could be a writer if I wanted, and not just in the "you can do anything" mindlessly encouraging way. He said it in the "Look closely at it. Explore it, do your research. Write your book. Look at other jobs in the business. Make sure you want it, but if you do, then go for it. You can do anything, but it takes hard work" sort of way. The kind that made me REALLY look and be sure. I know what I want.

He's done that my whole life. With everything. When I was little he would take me to toys R us and tell me I can get any toy, or as many toys as I wanted as long as they were under some set price. He told me to think carefully. What did I REALLY want? What would I play with the most? These outings weren't often, but they were good lessons.

And I miss him. It's so hard to talk to him from here. I can't wait to see him again. There are things about him that drive me crazy, for example, he's REALLY repetitive. He once told me 15 times in 5 minutes that there were peaches in the fridge and I should help myself. "There are peaches in the fridge. Help yourself to them..... And are you hungry? we've got peaches. .... On the bottom shelf of the fridge are some peaches." Thanks Dad.

The other attempted posts may or may not make an appearance here. I don't really feel them anymore. We'll see.