History of Erin Boat

History of Erin Boat
The Unnecessary Backstory (the beginning)

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Most Recent Post
End of an Era

Quote of the Moment

Quote of the Moment
Link to Writing Blog

Current Favorite Song

Current Favorite Song
But Anyway by Blues Traveler

Time to Vent a Little

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I'm getting really REALLY tired of strangers telling me I'm too young to get married. You’re strangers. If you were a friend, I would think you were genuinely concerned. But you aren’t a friend. I don’t even know your name. You have no reason to care about whether my marriage is a success or a failure, and so your comments about how my marriage is doomed? They almost feel like something that you’re saying just to upset me.

And it’s working. It's not making me second guess myself. It's not making me scared. It's just making me angry. You don't know who I am, you don't know who he is, and your reasons for why its a bad idea, half the time, aren't even true.

Friends, if you think I'm making a mistake, I will listen to you. I will know that you're trying to help, and I won't get angry. I will appreciate your honesty, even if our opinions are not the same.

Strangers I will NOT listen to you. Not unless you take the time to actually talk to me, whcih would make you not strangers anymore.

What prompted this? I found a message on facebook from someone who I don't know. It's a friend-of-a-facebook-friend, but I hardly even know our one mutual connection. When I first read the message, I was so offended that I deleted it instantly, but it said something along the lines of "Congratulations on ruining your life. It's impossible to make a marriage last when you're young, and no one who gets married in college ever graduates. Have fun being in debt and homeless in ten years."

It was longer than that, but I can't remember what else it said. It was rude, and I'm quite angry. Unfortunately, I encounter this attitude pretty often. It's always "You're too young and you're ruining your life." Occasionally it's "Oh you're getting married? I didn't know you were pregnant." That's just annoying. I'm not pregnant, and even if I was, I would not get married just because of that.

Oh, and I'm not ruining my life. Just throwing that out there.

3 comments:

Teri S said...

Hey there - that sounds like a very rude email! So I got married (the first time) when I was 18 to my hs sweetheart, and I heard all the same things you are hearing now. I was annoyed with it then (just like you are), but later in life, I could see why so many people tried to talk me out of it. I ultimately ended up divorced - problem was that we were both still growing up, but we grew up in very different directions. That said, I would never personally recommend to anyone that they get married while they are that young, based on my own personal experience. But on the other hand, some people who get married young, stay together forever and live a happy life. Either way, I agree that it was rude, random, and out of line for someone you don't even know to offer you advice that you didn't ask for. Did you say anything back to them??

May 13, 2010 at 11:58 PM
E Boat said...

I didn't say anything back. I figured the only thing that would come of my writing a response would be more arguing, and I didn't want that. I just deleted it, and then posted this. I figure blogging about my frustrations is a lot less likely to cause a fight.

May 14, 2010 at 10:53 AM
Teri S said...

Probably the best route - it's hard to take the high road sometimes, isn't it? ;)

May 15, 2010 at 12:17 AM

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