Trust Issues

I've always been a little too trusting in people. I have a little too much faith. I have always expected people to do the right things, even if they have proven over and over that they don't do them. It only takes a few short conversations to get me to spill my whole life story to someone.

But last night I realized I DON'T trust one of the few people who have never given me a reason to doubt them. My sister.

She's never done anything that's really "wrong." The worst thing I've seen her do was yelling at me over something stupid, but we're sisters and people tell me that fighting is normal. I've seen her not do her chores, and get mad when told to do them, but that anger is the sort that manifests in a death-glare at the plates. Is giving a mean look to a dish wrong? Of course not. Is it wrong to forget to do your chores? Not really. I'm a scatterbrain, and at her age I had to be reminded EVERY DAY to do my chores. Sometimes I wasn't friendly with the plates either.

She's 12 years old, in 6th grade, consistently makes the honor roll, auditioned and got into some fancy chorus. She's smart, and strong, and beautiful. She's modest about her achievements, but also proud. She's friendly and silly. She doesn't get in trouble for anything more serious than the above mentioned things.

But for some reason I don't trust her. I tell myself everything will be fine. I know that she has a good head on her shoulders. But something in me worries that she will seriously screw up. She's got a lot of friends who aren't what you typically think of as the good kids. The bad influences. But who am I to let that bother me? I hung out with worse kids than she did. I had a friend who started doing coke when she was 13. I had another friend who had her first pregnancy scare. I had friends who stole, drank, and did a ton of pot. I turned out just fine, and my sister has a good head on her shoulders, so she should turn out fine too.

I'm trying. Right now I'm pretending, but I'm trying. She has a new boyfriend who she wont tell me anything about. He's 15, a freshman at my old high school. I've asked around about him, and haven't heard anything good yet. But I need to trust my sister. My mom knows, and is okay with it, so why can't I be?